Setting sail

So instead of mourning at home, I decided to do all the travel we were going to do together.

Probably not my most sensible decision, and what my then therapist called "running away".

Well, I didnt run, I sailed. Around the world. Or most of it.

I joined this beauty in Sydney at the begiining of June 2025, and the plan was to get off in Barcelona, travel to London and Belfast, and then home.

Things didnt quite work out that way, but that was the plan.

The itinerary didnt quite work out like that either, but - off we went.

Looking back on my journal from these first days, there was a lot of tooing and frowing between dead set panic and inability to breathe, and moments of joy and grastitude for being on board a cruise ship and going on a huge adventure.

The firsts:

First flight alone (not strictly true, but allowing myself the dramatic licence of a new adventure)

First uber alone (again, poetic licence, but you know where I'm going with this)

First meal alone (God the drama, but actually was the first "holiday" meal alone)

First drinks alone (who am I kidding on this one!!!)

First cruise alone True, absolutely true, and scary as all fuck)

So at the time it was very scary, and my first solo adventure.

I was really proud of how far I had come, and stayed 2 nights in Sydney, navigated public transport and took a cruise around Sydney vivid. All alone.

you

Boarding solo was difficult and it soon became apparent how many couples were getting on the ship. All loved up. Bless.

Its hard to settle the resentment, while acknowledging that they are blessed to be together and to have time to enjoy life, we never got that luxury. We never had the chance.

I had contacted someone via the facebook groups, so I did technically "know" one person on the ship.

But still a HUGE leap of faith for the ultimate introvert who actually doesnt particularly like people!!!

But board I did, on a wet and windy Sydney day. Ready for any and all adventures.

That's a fucking lie, I was terrified of being alone, lonely and having panic attacks every minute of so....

Anyway, Nice view.